Bachelor Chow: Maple-Cherry BBQ Burgers

A hamburger. Plain, it stands as a backyard barbecue cornerstone, but what I am about to share with you today, my friends, is sure to replace your average burger at your next summer gathering. This is something only my friends have tried, and let me tell you, I have had many of them ask when I am going to make my "Maple-Cherry BBQ Burgers" again. You read right, you frozen burrito bakers, you.

Maple-Cherry BBQ Burgers!

I came up with this a couple years back when I was working as a cook in a large corporate chain restaurant. I took the basic idea of a dipping sauce I concocted on the job, and applied it to a couple pounds of ground beef for a gathering on my 26th birthday. Yes, I had to cook for myself that day, but that's beside the point. As I watched the gang bite into the hand made pleasure patties, I was bombarded with stuffed mouths mumbling "holy s***" and "damn these are good". Now I hope to share the taste and success with you; the men who want to add a little pep to their less than peppy menu.

Take notes fellas. Here's what your going to need. (The batch size can be adjusted to accommodate larger gatherings by keeping the proportions. I'm only going by what a guy like me may eat in a day or two.)

1. 1lb of at least 85/15 ground beef: Anything less than that, though cheaper, is a waste of money. The more fat you have, the more renders out, leaving you with less to eat; as the burgers will shrink more than a leaner meat. You get what you pay for.
2. One medium bottle of hickory barbecue sauce: You may be asking yourself why I wouldn't just tell you to buy a bottle of your favorite honey barbecue sauce. My answer is that, though you get a sweet and tangy sauce off the shelf, in the end it doesn't hold a candle to the flavor of this mixture. (If I may be so bold as to make a suggestion; if your local grocer has Sweet Baby Ray's Original Barbecue Sauce, go with that one. It's the one I use, and I think it's the best.)
   
3. One bottle of maple syrup: Once again, this is a place where I say that you get what you pay for. I've read the labels of many "maple syrup" bottles, and believe it or not most of them don't contain any actual maple. Most of it is all synthetic maple flavoring, but if you do yourself some light ingredient reading you'll find something with, at least, a little bit of natural maple. My suggestion is to go with that. You could also buy the 100% pure maple syrup but depending on where you live prices will vary, and it can be on the expensive side.
4. One medium jar of Maraschino cherries: Those, fellas, are the red cherries often atop sundaes, and whose stems, just as often, may erotically be tied into a knot by the tongue of a pretty thing at your local bar. Good, you know what I'm talking about.
5. One 1/4 cup Measuring cup: Borrow from a neighbor if you have to. A single measuring cup with different volumes printed on the side is great too.

I could list all the other utensils you'll need, but I'm sure you can figure out that, if I tell you to cut something, you'll need a knife. Incidentally, grab a knife. You're going to be doing some cutting.

Open your jar of cherries, and dice them up. Imagine the size of the pimento inside a green olive. That's about the size you're looking for. Put the cherry pieces into the 1/4 cup measuring cup until they loosely reach the top of the cup. (Yes, I know, loose cherries. Believe me, I'm giggling like a school boy on the inside too.) Now, when I say loosely, I mean that there should be no mashing them in the cup to make them fit.

After you've diced the cherries and put them in the cup take the jar and pour off some cherry juice into it, just filling the cup to the brim. Pour the cup into a small mixing bowl, then fill the cup once more but this time with your maple syrup. Add the syrup, now, to the bowl of diced cherries and juice.

In your small mixing bowl you should have 1/4 cup cherries and juice, and 1/4 cup maple syrup. Good. Now, take you barbecue sauce and add 1/2 cup (two 1/4 cups) to the maple-cherry mix, and give it a good stir. There's your sauce. You probably dipped your finger in to taste it already, but if not, go for it.

Alright, you have one full cup of sauce ready, so now it's on to the ground beef. You'll need a larger mixing bowl for this part. Put your pound of beef (thawed) into the large mixing bowl, and add just under half of your sauce as well. Dig in and start mixing the sauce into the beef so its well incorporated. If you put too much sauce in the beef your patties wont hold together and your left with a mess, so keep in mind add a little at a time. You can always add, but you can't take away.

After it's all mixed together you should be left with a little over a half cup of sauce, and delicious smelling raw beef. It's time to make your patties. Far be it from me to tell you what size patty you like, but keep in mind, they will shrink, and a thinner, uniform thickness will cook more evenly. Medium heat over the grill or the stove top will suffice. Use the left over sauce as you cook them, then, much like the pizza nachos, top your burger with your favorite fixin's. (Tip: Don't flip your burgers until you see juices pooling on the surface of the burger itself.)

Go forth, men, and dominate that grill (or stove top) with the burger, that I can almost guarantee, will be called upon for an encore presentation at future grill-fueled gatherings, and until next time, bachelor cooking isn't that hard.